Feline Slave Labour
The Asians, having cornered the market on Children, are forcing the Russians to find alternate modes of creating cheap garments.
One creative method can be found here (warning: may not be suitable for RSPCA members!):
Step 1: Raw materials
First, you need kittens. These can be easily obtained by mating a Male and Female cat (Felis catus), and waiting for 65 days.
Step 2: Indoctrination
To get your little workers in the proper mindset for a life of fulfilling labour, Marxist classics such as "Das Kapital" can be used.
Step 3: Setting up Shop
Using Pravda as both educational material as well as a means of preventing spillage, prime the kitty-dipping station and prepare for action.
Placing the garment as close as possible to the paint reservoir will ensure maximum process efficiency.
Step 4: To Work!
Release the kitten directly onto the garment, reminding it to do as it’s told and be creative.
Small felines are notorious for being led astray by foreign distractions. It is recommended to have at least 3 Komosmol members to track down and punish deserters.
Step 5: Results
The above methods can be applied to all sorts of clothes, including shirts, overalls, and prison camp uniforms.
I hope you have found the above information to be adequate and instructive. Good luck, Comrade.
